trade off :/

i was not allowed to think of him.
THAT WAS SOMETHING i tried to be very strict about.


of course I slipped; I was only human.



but i was getting better,
and so the pain was something i could avoid for days at a time now.
the trade-off was the never-ending numbness.
between pain and nothing,

i’d chosen nothing.

ninety years.

my heart hasn’t beat in almost ninety years,
but this was different.

it was like my heart was gone
—like i was hollow.

like i’d left everything that was inside me here with you.

now i know what wud it be like. ='O

you know how sick i feel last night?
damn. not that much. but not
really enjoying it when you're
cutting me off when i am talking.

it feels like we're having one way
conversation. i dont know what's up with that.

man i said sorry. isn't that enough?
why are you making such a big deal out of
my personal observation.

it's just an observation. an opinion.
i can always be wrong. Man, that's an opinion.

you sounds like your scolding me.
same as the tone of my dad when he
caught me smoking at the backdoor of his house.

now i know what wud it be like.
you just gave me an idea how wud it be.

tss. you're just makin' me feel sick of this.
pushing me to get tired.

ulckkk. ='O

confused. day #8.

i was not finished kissing you.
don’t make me come over there hunn. :'3

narcoleptic.

am i sufferin from narcolepsy babe?

feels like im gonna be comatosed.
as in dead asleep. ughh.
wanna sleeeeep 25hours a day.


and hey!
hahaha. wudd'ap with me singing
your favorite song. and chokin' as hell
laughing cause i cant follow the tune.

hahaha. fun though. :3

sleep talker

i had a dream that we are dead.
but pretended to be alive.

wanna be on your shirt when it's cold at night.
thinkin' it might get warmer.

*wanna sleep a decade

for a change

f*ckin' teased with life. want new environment. hmp. :/